Circle of Life

RaRa, actually

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 22:47:41 GMT

I used to hold your hand, but I must let go.. I must travel down the road, alone, yet the echoes of our memories are in tow

-chris winters

Sleep well, before you die

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:33:36 GMT

"Sleep well, before you die"
C. Winters
future excerpt from 'Tungsten's Guide to: Empathetic Mania'

A couple days later at work, I ran up the stairs to say something very stupid to Mark. I was always trying to be funny, and the life of the party. So today, I thought I'd make Mark's day by saying some random thought. I do those things to get a laugh out of someone. Today was that day.

As I strolled past another good friend, which I will entertain very soon. Samantha. she's this cute blonde that...

"I thought I should tell you about my neighbor!", Samantha stopped me at her desk.

It was one of those all-of-a-sudden episodes in life where you actually become interested in something other than the goal you are trying to achieve. The tone of her voice manipulated that.

"Yauhh," I grinned, "You guys were getting a bit frisky there. I was wondering if I became some sort of third wheel."

I remember a few days back, Samantha and her neighbor where making out. It was a small party he had going on. I was there. I felt I was the third wheel, because I came along with her. So, in the event of this happening I thought it would be best I left. Besides, who wants to be a cock-blocker? Samantha wanted some, so I figured it was my time to jet.

"No! Not at all!" she said, "Let me tell you what happened..."

There was a pause before she went on. My eyes rolled from one side to the other as if "yeah, right" came to mind.

Her smile melted away as she recollected the past that was laid out before me.

"The neighbor had broken up with his girlfriend and was moving soon. She called on St. Patrick's Day. "

My mind became focused. The "I" started to divide.

"She said she was going to a party in the area, and asked if she could spend the night. Something about, being responsible, instead of driving home. He then replied 'no'", Samantha leaned back in her chair as she began the story.

"He mentioned to her that he is going out with some friends, and this -has- to end. He specifically enforced the last part of his words. After his night out with friends, he comes home, and finds his door busted open. Also, he said her vehicle was parked, and he got concerned. All the lights are off, except for the bathroom. Unnerved, he decides to move in the direction of the house into the bathroom... calling her name. It was sooo Scooby Doo."

My mind can see the picture. A man, walking towards the house,and towards the bathroom. It is dark. Midnight blue. The colour of peacefulness, but with an eerie feeling. However, my mind did not see anyone in the house. Just the front door slightly ajar. I felt a slight chill as the wind might have slithered in the doorway.

"She brought with her a body bag, duck tape, and a helium tank for balloons. She climbed into the body
bag, zipped it up halfway, and taped it around her wait. She then turned on the helium tank, and zipped up the rest of the body bag with the nozzle inside."

I saw the girl. She was crying. She was so badly hurt that I can actually feel her pain. Her face was already swollen from the tears pouring out of her eyes. She had an agenda, and I know, where this was going...

Samantha finally uttered the last words, while she continued back to her work, "Helium puts a person to sleep, before they die."

romance, a sweet dream

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 00:54:32 GMT

in fantasy, romance can be the sweetest dream, but in reality, romance is hope. -chriswinters invented- -today!

sail away, not looking back

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:03:44 GMT

I've already sailed away, not looking back, as my own tears were cleared by the wind that brushed my face.

grass maybe greener, but...

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:41:33 GMT

The grass maybe greener on the other side, but that's from all the shit in it

-chris winters28 2009

Top Of the Hill

Fri, 29 May 2009 19:17:18 GMT

When you think you are on the top of the hill, there's always a cloud floating above you.
-chris winters

joyful chris winters

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 23:38:19 GMT

OMG! I'm on this site: http://www.pumpitupparty.com/our-programs.aspx scroll down and take a look (under Corporate Team Building graphic)!!!!

Here's a picture sent by my daughter, Lauren (Loryn) Ashley (via cell phone):

take the time out to LOOK AROUND!

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:41:39 GMT

[disclaimer: profanity language. Parental guidance suggested]
I swear I am so fucking pissed this morning. FUCKING PISSED!

This makes the third time in my life I've got hit on my bike from a fucking car with a fucking idiot driver who doesn't take the time to fucking LOOK AROUND because they are in a fucking rush to get to fucking work or whereever they are fucking going.

I take my time to look around. Shit, I even look doubly on my fucking bike, with my fucking eyes, in every fucking corner, light, sub roads, and every fucking thing I can fucking possibly see.

So, I was coming down the street, which I had pop over on the other side to get to my destination. I biked from Hollywood to Culver City. I was on Overland ave crossing South Dr. at the time. Going towards Hannon ave. wasn't any way easier. Then I come towards a sub division, which contains nice apartments and condos. From the entrance I see a light blue car. I think its a fucking Honda or something. Who the fuck knows.

I know he may not see me, although I KNOW he sees me, that is IF he looked both ways. Apprenalty he did not. I am coming right up on him, stopping a bit, because my spidey senses told me to, but I was way too close. The guy doesn't take the time to think a fucking pedestrain , a biker, or a pizza delivery guy could be walking towards HIS direction, although it is a one way for him. He pulls out right when I cross him. I yell "NO!". NOW he sees me.

I get hit, but I get hit in the back framing. I only get a scratch on my right calve, and my bike suffers yet another war story. It spins under my ass this time. A loud chang!

All I can hear, is him, asking if I am alright and him pulling back. I get on my bike, and just yell at him, to look both ways next time, and to go on. I was already pissed. I had bannans in my bag and DID NOT WANT THEM DAMAGED. I was also carrying rice cakes. I don't want them damaged either. I had to get to work because of some issues and then my class assignment was already late. My instructor @ Howard Fine Studios does not take excuses, at all.

Not to mention, if I was to get off that bike and talk to him about it, I won't be a in a great, fucking, mood. My knee already hurts as well as my back. That was all from the impact from behind.

DRIVERS! WATCH BOTH FUCKING WAYS *REGARDLESS* if you are on a one way street. PROGNOSTICATE; if someone is coming in either direction,. LOOK! BREATHE! DRIVE. GeeZ!

A fucking public service announcement from yours fucking truly

drinking: educational

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:07:56 GMT

Only good thing about drinking: its EDUCATIONAL. Everytime you get hammered, you gain little wisdom. For example, last time I got drunk, snd go christmas carroling, you go with a group of people! Alone, in the middle of July, naked, with a bottle of Vodka yelling "Jingle BELLS! You SUCK!"- people would not consider it 'carroling'.

My Little Balloon (Rev. 2)

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:57:21 GMT

In my novel, Justice it describes the healing of onesself. In the story, christopher finally lets go of Justice. In his speech at her funeral, he reads this passage. This is the same passage that is read in the beginning and the end.

------

My Little Balloon (Rev. 2)

Looking up, I am seeing the balloon, my balloon, float away.
I will miss it... That, pretty little, balloon.

I loved that balloon so much. It was my favourite. It will be missed.
That balloon gave me so much joy. It went everwhere, I went.

It was like my dream... We were floating, we were playing, we were laughing.
Once I woke up, I noticed that it was gone, floating away; slowly away.

Away, in a long, long, distance, the balloon could still be seen. I watched, as it left.
With a tear, slowly creeping down my left eye, I wept, although I refused to say goodbye.

My hand extended, my balloon looked back. It never said goodbye. It just watched me.
It too, shed a tear, with a sad face, as I let it go.

I will miss that balloon...
- I once played with, before.

the reason why I had 'Nanners

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:16:49 GMT

the reason why I had 'Nanners

I was sorting through my journal and came across a disturbing but funny entry.

"I had a friend who brought banannas, turkey, milk and whatever he felt he needed to get rid of to me."

I remember this trait that he had. Looking back, I laugh at it because I now can remind myself why he liked to give me things. now I can appreciate his actions.

With that "ah, I get it" look on my face. I realize one of the reasons why humans give.

not to give because they could possibly care...

not to give because it means "I'm sorry I don't spend enough time with you"...

not to give because they are unleashing crap found within their house....

not to give because it rids them of excess baggage...

but to give to get rid of you.

nice!

Score +20 for the Vehicles!

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:33:30 GMT

Awareness. It is a thing one must learn to do, at all times: Taste. Touch. Hear. Vision. Smell.

I got into an accident today. This morning. A vehicle struck me going some unknown speed, I was riding my bike (trek 6500). I wasn't paying full attention, but at the same time, I was following after a car, that was in my right away.

This is my second accident, and matter of a fact, on the same side. The left. One accident was in Newport News, Virginia where a guy did a California Stop and smash right into me as I was proceeding down a footpath towards home. Clearly his fault, all I asked his insurance was to repair my bike and fix my butt. I don't look for a million dollar lawsuit.

Did I ever tell you that the mind is a trickster? I soon will, again.

I was going to my 9 to 5er this morning, I as typically do. I live in K-town in LA, one of the best places to live. I was travelling towards Culver City, the heart of screenland. It is about a 12 mile bike ride. At the time of the incident I wa travelling West on Pico Blvd, one of the main surface streets.

During my travelling I listen to music, but I learned my lesson after paying a $150 fine for having headphones and travelling on a bike (see my other bike incident). So if I do travel, its one earphone on and one earphone off. This time, however, I did not listent o music, I wanted to think about the 2nd novel I am writing, Justice and some other issues going on in my life. Lately I having been re-inventing myself, doing some soul searching, and getting rid of people in my life that holds negativity, and those who really don't do much in my life but be the regular emotional vampires they are. Egotistical, mean, uncaring, unloving individuals are the ones I do not need this time in my life. It is hard and will be hard to rid of them, but one must let go, as one lets go of their garbage.

The mind, is a trickster.

As I was switching through gears, whizzing through traffic, obeying the stop lights (yes, you WILL get a $350 fine, on a bike, running a red light), watching traffic, displaying my red signals (one must wear light signals), and my front light was on (California law requires you to have a front light and a bell). I did not wear a helmet because I ended up losing it... somewhere. So I wore a beany. I wore a blue one.

So. I wasn't thinking about how life was grand, or the time I was frolicking around, jumping in the fields of corn, while the sun lay on me, blazing my skin, tanning it brown. I was looking forward; then back, watching cars go by. I constanrtly keept my eye on the entrance crevaces; parked cars that open doors, pedestrians who are crossing withme, or waiting at the metro. I had to watch for potholes, oncoming traffic and the sun that keeps following me. I then started to think about the class I was going to attend tonight and the homework I needed to do. I then flipped to, Justice, the story I was writing.

I can taste the exhaust from the diesel engine that past me. It tasted of tar. The smell was intense as much.

I noticed a side street off the surface street, so I figured I duck in there for a quick spin towards La Cienega, which would be a shot from Fairfax.

I always loved racing cars during my travels on surface streets. I would -love- to take them on the freeway, even know I would eventually lose. Then again, I don't know. I can beat them on a bad day, probably on the 10 on 10. I call freeway 10 the "10 on 10" because a lot of accidents and traffic happen there. People go about 10 mph. I hate the 10. In Los Angeles, going east and west is fine and dandy, going north and south are a pain in the ass.

I started to notice my shifter wasn't working that much. It was a little loose on the downshift. I tried toggling the shifter and in a quick second, it regained tension. I then headed towards the side road, after noticing the car, and putting faith in the traffic behind me, I proceeded to head across the road towards Fairfax. I was almost there, acorss the street.

That's when my bike begin to run away, out of my hands, like a lost lamb running to nowhere. I can hear the tire screeching, but I did not know where it was coming from. A quick painful thud feeling shot into my hips as I realized darkness. I saw that I landed on the hood of the car. I did not know, the damage, I did to it. I went down on the road, my bike was ahead of me. It did not look back, but I did. I saw cars stopping in the other lane. My bike just laid there.

My mind was tricking me, again. It wanted to laugh. Like a clown at a circus, it sat there and -laughed- at me. I was confused and wanted to question it. I gave in to my own consciousness, putting faith into it as I rode. I felt: let down. I made an error, somewhere. My mind let me down. Usually, it works with me, keeping status on my own surroundings. In acting, doing tv and film, I notice my surroundings. I notice how I feel, what I taste, what I smell. I am typically aware of my surroundings. However, I do daydream alot, and this time, I trusted my best friend: my conscious mind.

I cannot smell. I cannot smell the morning I once did, as I hit the road. My vision was temporarily blinded to the fact that an error was made. My mind went into fight mode. It was ok now. I was already accepting the fact that I got hit by an oncoming car. Like a angered rhino bucking out of the jungle, on a hot day, it hit me on my left side.

I got up. Again, trusting my mind, my head hung low. I put up my hand to stop any other traffic as I headed towards the side of the road. My fight mode was now taking over as I used any reserved energy to cross the street. At this time, I was already running a P.A.S.T. on myself. I now became aware of my surroundings. The car also headed over to the side of the road. My peripheral vision tracked that.

I was going through my PAST and interrupted by the guy who hit me. I said I was ok. I ran a P.A.S.T. again. However, I knew I would have some epidermal and dermal contusions. My elbow got a bit scratched, because I can feel the sting and fabric of my light blue hoodie.

He, the guy who hit me, was a bit scared of the incident. Eventually, after findign out I was living, wanted to know who is going to pay for his damages. His hood is bent and gashed. I said we could the police. I didn't know the extent of my damages on my bike, nor my body. He got a bit angry and decide the best thing is to drop it, because he figured the cops would grant a better position over the matter. I just remembered the asshole insurance companies I had to call just to -get- something paid for. I really hate insurance companies. I didn't have insurance on my bike. Then again, you didn't need insurance.

Again, I feel I was not paying attention as the story goes. I was in the other lane crossing over. I did not see any cars coming towards me, that is until I was hit when I was already on 75% of the crossing. I wasn't sure of the red light, although no cars were coming in the opposite direction. I only knew that the other side, the one I was crossing, cars were stopped.

So what gives? Why was it only him that hit me, and not others? I didn't see any other cars until -after- he hit me. Then they started to appear. Perhaps, it was the yellow light rule I was following. The yellow light rule was two cars typically go when the light begins to turn red, if not, you'll get honked at. In my case, I was happily biking.

He left and I did, after trying to fix my chain. I got back on, and started to head towards my destination. I didn't look to sue or have someone thrown in jail. I figured if I was alive and fine, then I should be thankful. Even if it was my or their fault.

Getting hit doesnt bother me anymore. Nothing does, really. Bad and good things, in life, come and go. Just like accidents, you pick up and move on.

Well, I am officially an LA biker. You have to get hit at least once to claim that title. ;)

Right now, I'm fine. Just a bit sore with a small headache, and some grit in my teeth....

... and experience to be even more aware. That's what I am constantly learning in acting.

Awareness.

Acting- A challenge - notes 1

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:19:18 GMT

Acting: A challenge

Notes 1

These are notes I want to list on this medium. It -may- help others. The reason why I am posting is because I do want to refer back to my blog for review. Right now, I am re-educatiing myself of myself. ;)

TWO theatre books in class we are studying in class are:

UTA HAGEN: A Challenge for the actor
ISBN-10: 0684190400
ISBN-13: 978-0684190402

RICHARD BOLESLAVSKY: Acting: The First Six Lessons
ISBN-10: 0878300007
ISBN-13: 978-0878300006

They are amazing books, and probably THE best acting books I've come across besides Michael Caine's - Acting in Film: An Actor's Take on Movie Making.
---------------------------------------

This sesison of notes describes how to connect more with the psychological senses and the memory of emotions to the physical events of external world.

...
When recieved a task, the attention on self is REMOVED. Find a way to accept what has occurred and make it happen.

Be AWARE when in DENIAL.

Self Awareness / Self Critical judgement is not. When we do not focus attnetion on self, we become MORE INTERESTING.

3 obstacles in CONCENTRATION:

A. Intellectual: Manifests self conscience and inhibition.

B. Emotional: Slef judgement/critisicm which leads to frustration. You cannot judge yourself while in the 'task'. Only when it is done, you can judge.

C. Physical: tension.

To create, I must be FREE of self; emotionally centred, and physically relaxed.

One cannot create through tension and fear.

Two approaches to acting:

A. EXTERNAL - indicating. Indicating is showing or experiencing the emotion that isn't. i.e. TOO BIG.
When direction is taken and ti is mentioned "do not do anything" this essentially means, you are indicating. You need to focus on self, relax, know your awareness. Connect it with your emotions. Align your spin with your neck. Breathe. Because focusing on self will create tension and you cannot create or concentrate on your emotion.

B. INTERNAL - Organic. They are real feelings coming from wtihin.

* WE STUDY TO OTHERS TO LEARN ABOUT OURSELVES *

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The Alexander Technique is a technique of body re-education and coordination, accomplished through physical and psychological principles. In acting we use these principles to utilize outselves in ways to project. I tis important as casting directors do not want to see people:

"sway their arms back and forth"
"point the ground." This will eventually lead you to say "uh.......uh.....uh"
"crooked feet, and disarrayed body positions"
"slumpyness and bad posture" Bad posture beings bad deliverance.

Animals and children have Kinesthetic Awareness. it is an external sense. Proprioception is an inner sense. Both work and have an impact on each other. Proprioception is the ability of your central nervous system to communicate and coordinate parts of your body with each other.

-Recognize awareness. Aware of the neck and spine. Align the two.

The BREATHE is the VEHICLE of EMOTIONS.

If we cannot connect with our physical body, our physical awareness, and our emotions, then we are not connected with the physical EVENT.

(remember your own passage: The events of reality are seperate from the events of the mind, therefore, focus on the two: perception within the events of the reality can be altered or duplicated within the events of the mind, or vise versa. -cwinters)

ENERGY -> BREATHE. If we do not have enough BREATHE, then we will struggle to have energy.

Basic Tree

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:28:27 GMT

Basic Tree
by C. Winters
25th, March 2009

The Tree;
from where it started.
it provides the basics.
nourishment. life.
bare. necessity.

Should you pluck and consume, from its branches the fruit it provides?
-or should you drink from man's chalice;
that he said he made from that tree?

Go back to the basics, which God has created.
Not things made of man, made by man, made for man;
- which are evil, and have no value;
- except for the population of greed.

for those things made by man, are complete words and promises.
-for a better, longer life;
-for an enriched life.
-but one who keeps it, will surely lose it.

We rely on words alone, to describe and direct
to influence and to destroy;
to command and conquer;
-or employ.
-but we do not know ourselves.
-all we know is... flesh.

Take the narrow, thorny path, which is hard;
because the journey will teach you experience...
It will make who you are, and what you will become.
The tree will deliver and guide you to the basics.

Do not follow the multitude, that takes the wide, fast, clean path.
-they might find a quick solution to a problem;
but they will never find;
- what makes them,
- themselves,
- experience,
- deliverance,
-or, answers without influence.

The basics should not have additives;
- they do not need them;
therefore, they provide everything.
You cannot find it, because man, has created heaven;
- which he cannot truly duplicate, to exist in.
However, the words of evil delivers a promise only to fail;
-and disappear like a thief in the night.

Truth, reconciliation and penance. your confession to absolution;
it is right there, before you; the basics.
it is the thorny, narrow, wicked path which one must take;
-or, forever you will be lost, in the toxic waste, of what man has created...
It is The Tree, which he has destroyed.

confessions of a Bad Engrishman

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:25:36 GMT

so i can honestly say I am not the best english speaking person at which times i have to write my stuff from my mind. once i begain and your mind starts reading this rubbage, you will soon realize that my mind has already finished my thought and i am trying my best to transpose this onto this medium- which you see reading here.

my english is bad. my grammar is bad. however, it is your mind who decided to critic it, although accepeted elsewhee.

it shouldnt matter. as long as your mind has already unraveled the story that you are reading.

me. flesh. writing. tangible meaning. the theatre curtans open...

the mind exposed:

i aint got no pencil.
where you at?
sahree too tell you the troof, but you arent the one who is not the one who isnt the one.
im not going to do it no more.

the curtain closes.

although the sentances have been read by your mind. you already depicted your own vision of how the mouth moved to form these 'bad off' sentances.

your mind did it.

-not me.

Complaints Of Pleasures Abound

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:20:31 GMT

Complaints Of Pleasures Abound.
by C. Winters 23, March, 2009

All I see is the mouth moving, but the mind isn't.
with problems everywhere, the mouth moves and blames.
one finger pointing, while three pointing back;
the problems people create, they always complain about.

shut it; --the tongue.
your mouth; --must close.
your tongue must close, and your mouth must shut.
the mind is the evil monster, which you transport, not reason with.

have i ever told you the mind is an evil thing?
-it will not agree with you!
the monster inside of us, must feed its internal hunger:
-of blame,
-of envy,
-of jealousy,
-of greed;
never of content;
We complain about the problems we create.

Do you know; who you are without it?
-What to do?
-Where to go?
-Who to trust?
-Who to silence?
--Do you feel lost?

you complain and feel negated.
but your mind spreads your infection to others.
now, as a result, you feel better;
-- you made someone else feel worse than you.

Take away the flesh, and you cannot see yourself.
-Do it what it wants.
-Go where it wants.
-your mind you trust.
-You feed your mind and it is silent.
-Do you still feel lost?

You are complain of your weight;
-but your stuffing your mouth of over-consumption.

You complain of material things surrounding you;
-but these burdens aren't moving, your mouth is!

shut it, the tongue.
your mind, the monster.
hidden little monster who has nothing to do but create havoc.

you spend and spend, and buy, just to buy;
-but complain about all the stuff you accumulated.

you eat and eat, you become the behemmoth;
-but complain your trousers do not fit!

you smoke and drink, but, nice appear this way;
-but complain about looking older.

you stay up all the days, without the sun or moon seeing each other;
-but you complain how much energy you do not have.

Blame the mind. It created it.
Shut your mouth, so the tongue cannot whip about.
yet, you cannot. you complain or blame.
the mind owns you, as you are nothing --but a transport.

-As for I do not care:
- about your health problems,
- your mental problems,
- your emotional problems.

They are your pleasures....
-- and, yours, alone.

cW

LOL and OMG!

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:18:28 GMT

Have You Ever...
[o] Driven a car.
[o] Shot a gun.
[o] Been arrested.
[o] Been in a band.
[o] been called a fat ass.
[o] Shoplifted.
[o] Been out of the country.
[o] Had a job.
[o] Smoked pot.
[o] Rode in an ambulance.
[o] Cried over a movie.
[o] Met a celebrity.
[o] ARE a celebrity?
[o] Moved.
[o] Baked a cake.
[o] Been suspended.
[ ] Been tubing.
[ ] Gone skiing.
[ ] ignored the first ten people who say good morning?
[ ] Been paintballing.
[o] Made out.
[ ] Finished a crossword puzzle.
[o] Blew more than $300 in one store.
[ ] ...are you fucking crazy?
[o] Been drunk.
[o] Been to a wild party.
[ ] ended up passed out in a tree.
[o] shout out random numbers while someone is counting
[ ] got someone pregnant in someones' bed, while drunk, and irrsponsible.
[ ] have you ever filled a backpack with twinkies to its highest capacity.
[o] Swam in the Pacific Ocean.
[o] Risked your life for someone else's.
[ ] ran and tripped. then look back at what you tripped on.
[o] Saw someone killed.
[o] Watched cartoons all morning.
[ ] told your loved one how awesome they were, made a click sound, and shot them with a double barreled fingers?
[o] Got the munchies.
[o] ever ran out of someone's room, bare ass naked, and at full state of arousal.
[o] Cleaned your whole room/house/storage container/hamster cage.
[o] Had someone clean your whole room for you.
[ ] and do your dishes?
[ ] cook your food?
[o] Stained a carpet.
[ ] tossed the salad.
[o] Ruined your favorite shirt.
[o] "Wrong IM"ed.
[o] Been hospitalized.
[ ] still hospitalized
[o] Shopped on Rodeo Drive.
[ ] Shoplifted on Rodeo Drive.
[o] Dropped a baby.
[o] Adopted a pet.
[ ] dropped your pet
[o] Had your life in danger.
[ ] put a babies life in danger
[ ] skipped rather than walked
[o] Fell off something high.
[o] Almost drowned.
[o] pinched yourself
[o] pinched others
[o] get punched because he person you pinched hurt
[o] Broke up a fight.
[ ] pretend you were a robot
[o] Stood up for someone.
[o] hit someone with a bag of Sun-Chips
[o] Been told you looked like someone famous.
[o] Helped a stranger.
[ ] ask for money/sex/or other favour, after you helped a stranger
[ ] told a Walmart employee "i think there is a code 6 in automobile section"
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] someone toss your salad.
[o] Been caught doing something bad.
[o] pushed someone in shopping cart
[o] rode IN a shopping cart
[o] Cheated during a board game.
[o] Been on a boat.
[ ] was it a prison boat?
[ ] Gone to school/work/church/funeral under the influence.
[o] Climbed a tree.
[ ] Played Super Mario 64.
[ ] Gone on vacation with a friend.
[o] Broken a bone.
[ ] or two?
[o] Snuck into a movie.
[ ] Ran from the law.
[ ] has a family member still runing from the law
[ ] Been a vegetarian.
[ ] been accused of a vegatarian?
[o] been to Starbucks more than once in life
[ ] Stole a wheelchair from a patient
[o] ...Rode it in an parking lot of an airport
[ ] when someone has a sore, bruise, or area of infraction, I like to press on it and ask "Does it hurt?"
[ ] Enjoy cleaning my pets litter after a walk
[o] Smack someone and tell them it was THEIR fault.
[o] I own a big ass SUV
[o] I wear flipflops no matter what the weather
[o] I own 1 or more pairs of ripped jeans
[o] I layer my shirts
[ ] I layer my underwear
[ ] I layer my hair
[ ] I say "lol" in every sentence of every online conversation
[o] ...thinks LOL is stupid and overated
[O] not filed taxes on time
[o] It own tight jeans
[o] cuss when you're mad
[ ] go to church on sunday
[ ] park your vehicles in the yard
[ ] have gone shopping...for a gun
[ ] sank a child senseless
[o] wear long sleeves even in the summer
[o] know what a vulva is?
[ ] constanly check your cell phone and wish someone important would call?
[o] Gone on a blind date
[o] Skipped school/work/church/funeral
[ ] Been to Mexico
[o] Been to Florida
[ ] Been to Hawaii
[O] Been to Hell
[o] Been lost
[O] Been up shit's creek!
[o] Played cops and robbers
[ ] Recently colored with crayons
[ ] Sang Karaoke
[o] Paid for a meal with coins only
[o] Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
[o] Made prank phone calls
[o] Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
[o] Caught a snowflake on your tongue
[ ] ...and realized that a dog just peed in that spot...
[o] Danced in the rain-naked
[o] Blown bubbles
[ ] Ate cyanide
[ ] Seen a falling star and made a wish
[ ] Seen a falling star and realize it was a plane getting ready to crash
[ ] Touched a monkeys' butt
[ ] Ridden by an elephant
[ ] Ridden on a camel (Australia again…)
[o] SMOKED a camel
[O] thought this was stupid?

Seven 'Effed Up Sins:
---
GLUTTONY
[o] I'm always hungry, even after I just ate.
[o] I'm always looking forward to my next meal.
[o] I like eating snacks between every meal.
[o] Sometimes I eat a little too fast.
[o] When I go out to eat, I spend more than I should.
[o] I'm at least ten pounds overweight.

GREED
[o] I've bribed someone before.
[o] ...for sexual favours?
[o] I've stolen something that I really wanted before.
[ ] I've betrayed someone for my own personal gain.
[ ] i flap my arms in the air when i can't get what i want.
[ ] I'm not very generous of money.
[ ] I've been known to gamble.
[ ] I love receiving nice gifts.

SLOTH
[ ] I sleep in late.
[ ] My favorite thing to do is sit around watching tv or some other thing that doesn't require much moving.
[ ] I depend on other people too much.
[ ] I am unemployed.
[ ] the world owes me everything, but i don't owe it nothing
[ ] People have called me lazy before.
[o] embrace my fat ass?
[ ] Not a lot of things make me happy.

WRATH
[ ] I believe in revenge.
[ ] I hold grudges.
[o] I have road rage.
[ ] ...kinda like in the Office Space movie?
[ ] I don't take criticism, I'll usually say something back.
[ ] There are a lot of people I don't like.
[ ] I know you are, but what am I?
[o] I lose my temper easily.
[o] your tongue can hurt someone emotionally

LUST
[o] I've had sex a lot.
[o] I find myself physically attracted to a lot of people.
[o] ...but doesn't mean i want to sleep with them.
[o] I like trying or doing new things sexually.
[o] If I'm not physically attracted to the one I'm with anymore, I move on.
[ ] I wear clothes that show off my body.
[o] I like to flirt.
[o] Sex before bombs!
[o] Do you like to role play?

ENVY
[ ] I love watching people who have a lot of materialistic things.
[ ] Rich people don't deserve their money. I do.
[ ] I can't stand it when someone has something I don't have.
[ ] I'm a very jealous person.
[ ] i don't have it, but i'ma gonna get it!
[ ] I compare myself to others.
[ ] I'll sabotage my relationship because the other person is better than me.
[ ] You get upset when something good happens to your friend but didn't happen to you.

PRIDE
[ ] When something good happens to me, I have to tell everyone I know.
[o] I work hard to be attractive and pretty.
[ ] I tend to judge people.
[o] If I was poor, I'd rather starve; than work at McDonald's.
[o] I like showing off.
[o] kiss my ass if I am going to dig ditches in 20 degree weather
[ ] I'm attractive and i know it.
[ ] fail to give compliments to those who deserve them
[ ] yeah, I know I am, but what are you?
[ ] I like it when people are jealous of me.
[ ] I constantly look at myself in the mirror
[o] The mirror talks back to me
[ ] My hair is out of place. I freak.

The film I am in, is going to be screened at Warner Brothers Studio Feb 6th! YaY!

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:22:10 GMT

I'm so excited!!!!

--and nervous!

The film I worked on titled "Wheel Of Torture" will be screened at Warner Brothers Studios Feb 6th, 2009! It is a really small film, but a joy to work on!

Warner Brothers! Coolness! I hope it turns out wonderfully!

I've ALWAYS been nervous to see -any- films I've worked on; shown on a large screen. I think it is because you aren't sure how people react. I remember, when director Trent Duncan, displayed "Check, Please!" at the screening in Norfolk, Virgina- I was a bit nervous. As an instructor once said: As an actor, you always think you done something wrong, or perhaps there are others ways to do it. A beginner actor is always shocked at mistakes. For me, I always thought I could have done it another way, over analyzing at times.

I was sitting in my chair and we were waiting for other films to pass on. I remember it quite well: It was a feature for Scott Hansens' "Andrenaline". He actually got me to star in his production for a music video of the rock band WE WERE GENTLEMEN. I was an abusive boyfriend in that one. Right now, I'm waiting to be somewhat of a jerk, in "Check, Please!" The film was shown and "Check, Please!" was a hit. Funny and quirky!

Now this short film, "Wheel Of Torture" I play an innocent man, who has a son with cancer. The medical bills are overloaded and the medical inurance will not cover. So, I take a dirty job. It is not the job I really want. I end up doing some human traffiking job. To my surprise, the jerk who I work for ends up traffiking girls for sex objects. At this point, I am terribly upset and lash out.

In this character, I am some regular joe, regaulr build, with messy hair. I play an down beat, nice, and genuine character who is confused to what all is going to happen. To my disgust, I last out in anger as I realize I do not want to work for the guy again.

So, I am excited to see myself once again. It's all shot in HD, and you all have seen the behind the scenes on my front page of myspace. I will post the video on my website and youtube soon. It would be an honour this time, how little or large it is, to have myself screened across warner brothers studios property.

Friends, Family, and Fans, I love you.

cW

post it soon as soon as I get a copy.

25 That make me

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 22:09:19 GMT

I had to re-post this because I actually like the way i've written them. I wrote them on facbebook because many people were doing the "25 About me" thing. when they would write, they would tag others to do it and they would write... The circle went on and on.

I broke that circle because of who i akm ;) I went out all Rebel and stuff and did my own. ;)

From My facebook:

Since everybody is tagging and writing, what the hell. These are the things to 'get to know me'.... Viola! Enjoy! -- just not the silence.

1. i do things half assed

2.i have a temper

3. i am very intense

4. i am dark

5. i typically have LSO one way or the other

6. i like to read colouring books

7. peanut butter is MY friend. NOT yours.

8. i could care less what people think of me, its what i think of you after you said something completely stupid and irrational.

9. i am not materialistic, however i like nice things. things that work a long time so i don't have to keep buying them to keep working

10. i sing in the shower. you will never hear me though.

11. i am self aware of myself. i masterbate very well. i am sexual and i know what feels good to me and to the woman im with and i don't moind exploring with her many places a human can possibly go.

12. I may not be the smartest and brightest crayon in the crayon box, but I SURE am the most colourful-'est' one!

13. i love everyone who enters my life, but hate someone exiting my life.

14. my body is gifted because it re-generates rather well.

15. i actually taught myself to remember everything since i was born about me and my experiences.

16. if i touch a person, they will never forget.

17. i am a male. not a man, boy, or guy.

18. really simple and stupid thing bother me. i get rid of things like that.

19. people used to make goof of me, but im the one whos really laughing now.

20. i do it because i CAN get away with it. when i realize i do, I push the envelope farther, because it is such a wondeful experience.

21. i give advise all the time. no one really does what i say, although they agree I am right or they can relate-- but neither do i.

22. i love myself. it takes someone to love themself to be loved.

23. im allergic to poisen ivy.

24. i HATE the cold, although my last name is WINTERS.

25. no one will REALLY figure me out.

Wheel Of Torture warp until Jan

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:28:28 GMT

So, I've been working no this small film, Wheel Of Torture, where I play a father who needs financial help and takes a job that is a job he does not want. The medical insurance companies denied my claim to help, so I end up doing anything, even if it means human traffiking. I star in this film as a more wholesome man compared to the person playing my oppoisition: the guy who hired me in the first place to do the dirty deeds.

Sanja Insanic' is the director of this fine film. I play a caring father to my son, but ended up taking an illegal job. It kinda reminds me of the movie Trade http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399095/

Sanja is a wonderful director and the crew of the set are really nice and energetic. I loved working with them all. I worked with other talented actors as well.

We tried wrapping up the last fighting scenec 14th), between the co star and myself, but we ran out of time and production will not start until early January. I just got my haircut, and for this film I have to actually grow it back out. My hair was getting rather long, on all sides, and I looked like the perfect dad. Scruff and everything in the scenes where I do the dirty deeds.

Anyway, the film will probably be available sometime before summer arrives. I'll have to host it on my site as soon as I get it.

Until then...

Many blessings, but not after the sneezes.

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:15:51 GMT

Many blessings, but not after the sneezes.
c. winters

Being blessed was something I thought I'd never see or even hear of. I have never been approached and asked "Can I bless you?"

Let me back up a bit into the story. It so happens one day I was in a particular place with an unknown particular person, in a particular time. The particular place happens to be a known fast food place. The unknown particular person is an unknown person, but in conjunction with the particular time, which was afternoon, the sun played with me again (See blog: Journey 003 http://chriswinters.livejournal.com/51513.html).

Read on if you curious. If not, turn to page four.

Where is page four, you ask? I, have no idea either.

However, I was in Carl's Jr. the other day and a man takes notice of me. He was black, overweight, with grey hair. It was cut short, like in the older 70's style. He was, in fact probably around that age. He had a cane, but at the time he took notice of me, he was sitting on the edge of the Carl's Jr. eating booths.

I came a little closer, a bit aloof, to what he actually asked. Only then did the sun from outside blind me a bit only to see his outlined figure. I did notice a cane. So, I moved in a bit and my eyes adjusted. My eyes are really super sensitive to bright light. In this case, the sun played with me... again. I love the sun, but it tends to play with me at times when I don't want to, only annoying me. It laughed as it moved away from my face - only because, I moved.

"I said: What religion are you?"

"Well... “I fumbled for a bit, trying to prognosticate his intentions on asking. "I am Christian."

I said it as I felt somewhat ashamed, but remembered that His own disciples did the same. I took notice to this and replied again, this time a bit more sure.

"Christian, like I believe in Jesus Christ."

He looked around briefly, as if his last days on Earth were coming to. Now, I never judge a person, but for some strange reason, by his physical appearance, he dressed as if he was a bum. He did wear faded clothing, rather old to say the least, and he seemed or appeared to be a bum. However, the thought crossed my mind that most bums aren't particularly 'fat', unless they are rearing alcoholics. Then again, bums don't typically hang out in Carl's Jr. either....

....but what was interesting about this was, this particular Carl's Jr. did have bullet proof ordering benches. The neighborhood was a bit seedy.

I judged though. I normally do not do it, but when you have people watching you, a strange person ask a question like that, bullet proof ordering stations, rather old and unkempt location, you seem to wonder, and be cautious. I was a bit cautious, but I also am pretty relaxed anyway. It takes a bit more to make me a bit more nervous to more dangerous and un safe situations. Places and events such as sitting on a prop plane and realizing the rather fast turning propellers are wedging off and flying in an unknown place is scary. Sticking your hand in a sink garbage disposal and suddenly turning on is scary. This wasn't. But, I did judge.

"Can I bless you?" he asked.

My head cocked to the side like a curious dog. I wasn't too sure how to take that last query, although I had to ask what his religion is. Blessing someone out of the ordinary is a bit curious, out the blue, in a particular place with an unknown particular person, in a particular time.

"What religion are... you?" I poked back.

"Catholic."

"Ah! No thanks, I am fine." I nodded as I waved my hand away as to shoo the whole incident. Apparently, I don't want to be blessed for a penny, or perhaps some other way to owe him back. Again, I judged. As I started to move towards the counter, I remember that I did read the Bible the other day. Now, I don't normally read the bible every sinfully, not perfect, need to be sanctified day. I started to read it because I was curious. I've been raised on the Bible as a child per say, just never followed the Christian religion because I felt it was too controlled. Too Man made, and too many rules to follow, just on the church side. In addition to that, I had too many people believing that you should run your life by what the preachers says, not the way of the bible. With me saying that, I also found that history had made bad changes and following because a man reads something, and he must burn a woman at the stake because she was a witch, or perhaps the way I dress makes me a different person. I could say that by the 'Name of God', we must go to war. I never understood that. Why fight wars, in the name of God. God doesn't want that, or murdering another man for that matter.

In the Bible, I did come across a passage where if you betray God and act like you don't know Him, when it comes a time when you are judged, He will claim He doesn't know you either. This came across my mind as a reminder. I shook my head and continued. I then thought about this one time when I biked to work and saw this homeless guy looked just like Jesus Christ. The homeless man wore shredded trousers and no shoes. His skin was dark from the sun, and he was dirty to the core. I remember reading in Psalms 23 something about inviting a poor or wanting man into your house to feed, clothe, and shelter. He walked everywhere near Century and La Cienega blvd. After seeing him several times, I was compelled to give him money, just to buy shoes. After the next day thinking about it, I never saw the man again. I felt pretty shitty, but then again, it could have been just something else.

"Look, I'm not begging for money... I... I, just need to bless someone. you know..."

"What do I have to do?” realizing this perhaps could be a 'test' from the Man Himself, upstairs.

As the man directed me over to his part of the table, I sat across him. He was looking around, it and appeared he happen to look outside, not inside the place. I had my sunglasses on, because at that time, sunshine had already spilled across the table, blinding me. My eyes are already super sensitive. He just sat there, looking around outside, occasionally looking at me.

"I have to bless someone. I need to...."

His words began to mumble, or my hearing just went out. I tried focusing on his lips to follow his speech, but it was arduous. He began to explain the reason why he had to bless someone. Only then do I notice that other people around began to watch. He began to explain that he needed to bless someone because something about he needed to do a good deed. As he explained, he hardly looked at me, and looked around, but only towards outside, not around the place. He was very nervous in a way, as if he needed to get something off his chest. Looked like he had a burden of some sort. As he explained, I tried to pinpoint the reason, but I can only take in what he said. From this point on, my judgments, my opinions, not even the fact I was ashamed even being there, sitting with this estranged man, who needed to bless me, around a bunch of people who -already probably thought both of us, has in fact, lost our minds.

"I just need to. I feel I need to bless someone, like a good deed.... I need to do. My mission..."

His words were broken up, and I just went with it.

"Ok? So, what do I need to do?"

"I need to come around, at the edge of the table..."

He directed me towards the end of the table; I did so, but only at an angle. He then directed me on my knees, at the end of the table booth, of Carl’s Jr. (in case some did not know, Carl's Jr. is Hardees' on the East Coast). I moved to the end of the table. At this point, I am now wondering how Catholics sit and pray. I think; I have it right.

"Ok, I need to put your hands like this..." he said as he directed my hands in a way where my elbows where on the tables and my hands were at eye-level.

At this point, I am feeling a little funny, because I feel as if I am the biggest dork and do not even know how to setup a prayer. Once this direction was all done, I was officially a person of interest in the fast food joint. I am sitting there, in Carl's Jr., on my knees, at the end of a table booth, with this guy, and we're about to pray. The sun was on us, no doubt.

"Now, I am going to say a prayer. This prayer I am going to say silently. Then I want to finish it only after when I say I am finished and you will begin. Close your eyes. "

He mumbled something to the Lord. I am not sure if he was voo-dooing me or blessing me, but I do know that he started to feel a lot better as he began to pray. His nervousness was disappearing. I, had my eyes closed, but a brief period, opened them, just to make sure things were ok.

Yup, he was praying.

My eyes, closed, and once I did hear "A-men" from him, he then instructed to say something in prayer or wish. He instructed it had to be a really positive statement, and one to be true.

I sighed, and thought the best thing:

"I wish for peace, and for everyone to love each other as a human being, and I thank the Lord for, each day, I awake from sleep, that I am breathing again."

From that point, something weird happened. I felt light, like something lifted off my shoulders. It quickly went away when I started to emerge from my knees. I then realized my blood circulation was cut off.

So much for the light uplifting feeling.

He thanked me again. I got up and left to get my food.

As I left, I came to him once more. I pat him on the shoulder:

"Thank you. I just want to say thank you very much, and I hope you have a wonderful day"

I left him, sitting there at the edge of the table, with his cane beside him. This time, he wasn't worried about what could happen or what he needed to do. I left him smiling and he looked as if he accomplished something.

It was the most interesting thing that happened to me in a while. Only God knows what could possibly happen next.

a great man retiring...

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:12:49 GMT

John Thompson, CEO of Symantec Corp. He has been @ SYMC for 10 years. He is retiring and Enrique Salem is going to take his place. both have been since '99. john has made symc the number one security company in the world.

--To me, its history. To him a new life.

I'm sadden in some ways because I remember when I first started with SYMC, I witnessed him guiding symc even further into the security world. He also made symc a great place to work.

Even though I feel Enrique take over, I hope he also has the same guidelines as John. I feel confident.

Today, to me, this is history.

MY feelings? I feel as if he is moving onto another life, and I am staying behind. kinda weird i suppose. Iono...

battle of the bods

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:25:53 GMT

So, I booked the Fox Reality show "Battle Of The Bods.". Actually filmed today. I couldn't and realyl cannot say too much until production comes with the episode, but let's jsut say: GO CHRIS!

Battle of the Bods is a show where ladies are judged for their physical beings and assets and then practically humiliated. When they earn kick ass cash, the tables are turned, and we mean BIG time, and the guys come out in their undies, and the girls ridicule and judge them. NICE!

If you wanna peep it out, go to www.foxreality.com

I was casted by the great Sam Rhima. He is awesome. I remember we chatted sometime before back in '05 and he told me to get my butt out to LA. So, I finally met him. Great guy. He held he castings and sent them to the network. In a week I got a call back saying the network likes me and to come in for a interview. I then got categorized int he 'metrosexual' guy. Yay! so me!

--oh, and there are some things I kinda regret saying, but it is all part of show business I suppose. Other than that, I LOVED the women, it was ALL about them actually -and the money. The guys were just great. Great pair of guys I worked with. Actually one knows the Jackson Family, and another is a bf of a gal who is an actress.

I cannot say anything else about it except I booked it, and got on the show. Episode run will be mentioned later. I just know I've never in my whole entire life been the biggest asshole and womanizer. Although it was fun, I still had to disagree with some of the things said.

The production staff blew me away, literally. Art, was immensely funny and a great guy. Kevin, the PA, had to put up with all my senseless calls. I actually was 15 minutes late.

NOTE: IF you were EVER to have your call time somewhere in Hollywood, make sure you NOW get there TWO hours ahead of time.

other than that im great! I finally got me a new place in the 90020 area. great loction, near downtown, next to hollywood tourist stuff, but quiet, and WONDERFUL value I am paying for my place with all these GREAT amenities! Kick ass! I thank my new found friend Adam Waggoner (www.theadambombshow.com) for that.

speaking of which, tune in!

ok, Im running now. I actually have to floy back to Virginia this weekend. Laura got me a new frame for the jeep she is selling me since I had to sell it, and I need to sign over title in case she sells my car. --Im riding hers, out here.

and yeah, its funny, because it is a 'girl car'. I wonder if people are laughing at me.

;)

toOtles!

cW

Another Year, Another Chris

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 21:53:17 GMT

Another year has passed and I still stand.
I walk among the trees, like a giant.
I hold my life in my hand
choosing where to go, or where to stay.

my birth was many, many days ago.
many winters
many summers
in my third decade, i know.

today i celebrate, again a breathe of life.
a chance
experience
the Gift, I adore, the Gift I love and like.

Happy Birthday, You.

just another reason why my predictions ARE becoming TRUE

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:00:38 GMT

(Catholics, Muslims open landmark talks at Vatican)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081104/ts_nm/us_religion_dialogue

In my story, under the CONCEPTS document, Invisible War describes how Muslims and Catholics come together under the Unity of Echo, the Redeemer... It's pretty nice to see how this is all starting to formulate in the real world... As I already predicted in Invisible War.

NOW I need to GO FULL SPEED AHEAD on getting this story written to prove that Invisible War is not only what may happen, but what falls into place as it DOES happen.

--scary

cW